Going Alone

A Stoic theory of life adventure

Yelling at a deaf and mute girl

The beginning of Going Alone

Aug 28, 2020
6 min

The beginning of Going Alone

I remember when I first thought up the idea of Going Alone. My family and I were living then in Japan, and I was making YouTube videos for the Walking in Japan and Abandoned Japan series. I was active at that time on social media, and among the questions I answered from viewers were periodic requests from people who planned to visit Japan, and who asked if they could join me on an adventure in the mountains. Such arrangements only rarely worked out, as the logistics of visiti

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To walk alone among ghosts

Aug 26, 2020
3 min

To walk alone among ghosts

I was never very afraid of the dark, or the things which come out after the sun goes down, to wander, and slither, and creep, and fly across and over the darkened landscape around me—hunting prey with wide eyes and snuffling noses and darting tongues and feelers probing for scent and a lead to the kill. Though I sometimes must take a deep breath before I go out alone among them, I can always nevertheless set out into the dark by myself, without a light, or a map, or a compass

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Sailing the inner sea

Aug 25, 2020
3 min

Sailing the inner sea

There is a sea within us upon which circumstance presses restless winds night and day; forming crests and troughs, moving over the face of the waters in scale relative to whatever may be happening around us, and to us, and to those whom we know and love and the things we possess and care for and call our own. In mild times the waters are still or rising just slightly with a gentle breeze blowing in the direction of mild climes. Sometimes though, a wind picks up as our life se

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Infrastructure

Aug 24, 2020
1 min

Infrastructure

There is an inward architecture which we create through the fact and consequence of our decisions and actions, which become the scaffolding structure of the inner man or woman who others may dimly see when they look us square in the eyes; perceiving a light or darkness within which shines or empties in proportion to the effort we have made to not just live, but to live well, and in accord with our perceived nature and better inclination. We fail utterly when we build our inne

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The news which is never old

Aug 20, 2020
1 min

The news which is never old

I awoke today to headlines of war, and gossip, and scandal, and the rise of stocks and advertisements for soap, and a 30% chance of rain in the afternoon. I read these things over my breakfast, and thus did ready myself for a day of trivia, and minutia, and the heat and entropy of life spent over small things of no real consequence—another wasted day of distraction spent clamoring over the news. I must devote myself only To the news which is never old But perhaps one day I mi

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What there isn't beyond the sea

Aug 17, 2020
2 min

What there isn't beyond the sea

Life is a little like coming awake on an island beach, naked and screaming and vulnerable and weak. The natives here do care for us, and get us up off the sand to shelter and shade from the sun and night and the grinding machine outside. They teach us their tongue, and give us some ways, and show us how to be and behave and what to expect. And the natives explain why we are here while expecting belief. And so we grow seemingly strong and fluent and capable; and establish our

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The upward ground

Aug 15, 2020
2 min

The upward ground

"...and the very slope of the hill on which my house is placed, seemed to say, Forward!" -Henry David Thoreau I accept life as hard. I accept the need to rise early. I accept my difficult work. I accept circumstance which are hard for the fact of change. And I accept my things must break, and that I am broken, too— And though I wish none of these for their own sake, and I desire no such life for another, I accept this way to go, and these facts of being—and maybe much worse—

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The best seat in the house

Aug 6, 2020
2 min

The best seat in the house

I have long dreamed of a nice, personal room where I can work. A little office at home where I can set up a desk and chair and my stuff, a retreat where I can go and close the door and work on the things that matter to me. But now, I do not need that place—as nowhere is satisfactory for my work. My work can now be done no place better than here. And nothing is needed. My work requires no place and no thing, and no time even—as my work is now always being done wherever I am, a

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More to life than living

Aug 4, 2020
2 min

More to life than living

There is so much to occupy the time of life. So much to do. So many people to know, and love, and pass the time together with. One thing after another, from the age of understanding on, we pass our days one thing after another, and then dream ourselves busy when asleep - no rest then even from the incessant work of living. In fact, we would not live if not for this busyness, our kind would surely die and fall away. So, it is important, this work of making life productive in s

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The virtue of temperance

Aug 3, 2020
2 min

The virtue of temperance

For what reason is temperance a virtue? Why do the sages live in austerity, and the desert fathers forsake the world, and the poet love their solitude, and the saints give up their lives? Is it because consumption is recognized as a distraction? That when we do eat of the world we make it less, and our vision and senses become blurred with the feast of life and gluttony makes us filthy, sleepy, and sick. But we do it anyway, we join the feast, because we neither care about th

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Knowing when to stop watching

Aug 1, 2020
2 min

Knowing when to stop watching

It is not easy to not watch someone else struggling with life. I am not referring to not seeing them struggle, but not watching them do it. Seeing is to observe and note a fact, to then add it to our catalogue of what is true; something to remember for the purpose of influencing and perhaps altering our coming decisions and actions. Seeing someone else struggle is necessary if we are then to help them in any way, as awareness is prerequisite to informed action. Watching thoug

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Words like flowers upon a table

Jul 31, 2020
2 min

Words like flowers upon a table

Words are like clay in the hands of a potter, who might pound together a rough cup and offer it "here!" as an implement of utility. And so the course word cup might be useful, something to drink from and quench a thirst. The cup then is an instrument of the base end of work and living, not an end in itself as the thing our lives might strive for: beauty, understanding, rhyme and meaning even. Language as life is reserved then for museums, and the highest, darkest, and dusties

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An uncomplaining camp

Jul 16, 2020
2 min

An uncomplaining camp

Emotions are a curious thing to ride upon. They jump and jostle and jolt and then rest, before picking up again and tossing all about. As a young man, I wore my emotions upon my face, and my actions and reactions were a sure giveaway and barometer to whatever inner circumstance I was enduring. Like a private season and climate of the mind; at once halcyon and pleasant with sunshine and cool breezes, while changing like day to night to darkness and rustlings in the night. Stor

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Minding a sore foot

Oct 22, 2019
5 min

Minding a sore foot

October 22, 2019 Dear Eric, Our talks back then were so full of optimism. Our youth spoke only of life, and of the optimistic promise of decades to come which must last forever. Everything was an eager uphill climb then. We were to climb with strong bodies and youthful minds. There was no summit we could not attempt and master. And the sun would always rise again on tomorrow. Though we knew this was a lie. We believed the lie was true. At least we kept muttering the lie under

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Prepared to arrive

Oct 10, 2019
3 min

Prepared to arrive

October 10, 2019 Dear Eric, You not only knew the exact place and time of your death but you indeed even walked there. You went alone. I wonder how quickly you walked to your knowing end... Imagine every day the place of your contrived death. And then picture each step on an inexorable path to that end. Note how the steps slow and become measured. That's a way to walk and live - knowing always where we are indeed headed. With a little luck we'll never arrive at that imagined

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Dining upon our emotions

Sep 26, 2019
3 min

Dining upon our emotions

September 26, 2019 Dear Eric, You, my friend, were one wont to emotion. Though normally you were riding high atop the joyful bubble of youth, I suspect you knew well the full range of human feeling and expression, though my time with you was only during that early period of life before the hard pressures of living began to leak through, and you had little evident chance to publicly take on the challenge of responding well to life's hard knocks. I wonder how you handled that l

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Softypapa's last video

Sep 13, 2019
2 min

Softypapa's last video

September 13, 2019 Dear Eric, I was so tempted yesterday to title my latest YouTube upload Softypapa's last video. This is due to the simple fact that after completing the video (which is just another in The Good Life meditation series) I feel I can die quite satisfied that my "work here is done." Of course, I don't think any of us have any particular "work" we need to do during life - besides staying alive and making and raising babies - though many of us enjoy imagining for

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