May 22

GOING ALONE - Ludlow to Siberia


My bi-weekly journey from the desert watering hole at Ludlow to the oblivion of Siberia is as much a part and rhythm of my life as taking my family to lunch or seeing a movie on the weekend. A big difference is that events with the family are adventures of light, while trekking alone into the deep desert - especially at night - are forays into dark...not a darkness of despair or loneliness (though these feelings do creep in sometimes) as much the apparent dark of the deep emptiness of a universe without any capacity of intent or caring beyond the mindless unwinding of chemistry and physics. It's a good darkness to know, as it tempers the light and gives the light a deep and rich substance we might otherwise take for granted. So, I go again alone to find and bring back the treasure which can only be found by Going Alone.


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  • I didn't go to the desert this week... Emily and I needed to take care of some things together and I stayed home instead. I'm glad I didn't go...though part of me thinks I'm just rationalizing away my disappointment in not facing down my fears out there - as I always have fears "out there." My out there is always someplace I'm reluctant to go - though usually I go, often not as far or deep as I'd like...but I go. How far did you go this week or month? Did you push past the place you'd normally turn back? At what price or consequence? I'll have my chance again in another two weeks... I'll go far then, I think - though I never really know for sure. I'll go far then, I think - as far as the simple man I am can muster. #GoingAlone
  • The bullseye aim suggests there's a target, yet offers no promise we'll hit the mark. I'll strive for the aim without expecting more than my best possible result. In fact, I'll expect sometimes to utter fail the mark.

Going Alone was begun by Kurt Bell in an effort to help others understand and manage  the recognition of the apparent indifference of the universe to our well being, happiness or even our existence, and to find ways to make a good life in spite of this fact.

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